30.9.08

Food Fascist

Celebrity chefs, those demi-gods of our age, not only tell us how to cook, they also tell us how to live.

John Torode, in a recipe on how to "cook the perfect roast (beef)" begins,
  • Score and salt the fat on the joint
  • Place joint in fridge
  • Go to bed
Bed!
Yes, get to bed.
But it's only eight o'clock
Goodnight.

That's if you can even buy the meat in the first place. For the fat must be white with a tinge of yellow. And it must be marbled. White marbles, not yellowish marbles.

Otherwise you must tell the butcher to go to hell in a hand-cart.

Fascist!



2 comments:

mcgenius said...

How can "John Torode" be a celebrity chef when I've never heard of him?

checks wikipedia...

Ah, him. I didn't know he did any actual cheffing. What are you doing following his recipes, what with him having been so beastly to poor Knoxy on Masterchef?

Have you no shame?

musters said...

I've no sympathy for Knoxy. He was his author of his own downfall. Imagine not liking mussels!