A couple of things to note about my weekly swimming pool visit yesterday.
I was wearing orange swimming shorts which are ridiculously prone to air pockets. My kids were playing with this little girl Phoebe who, for some reason, was more interested in chatting to me, the man with the large bulge in the front of his swimming shorts, than playing. She insisted on showing me how adept she was at underwater handstands. While she was under I took the opportunity to pat down my bulge. As she came back up my kids arrived and they all noticed the bubbles surrounding me.
"What?", I said innocently.
"Did you just fart?" asked my eldest.
They were all laughing hard now, especially Phoebe who appeared to be choking.
"Er, yes that's right" I said, happy to take the blame for something relatively innocent.
By this time the air pocket had re-established itself, if anything, more prominently.
"Go away and play, girls", I said. "Otherwise I'll fart again".
Later, when we were leaving the pool there was a man I'd seen swimming earlier. He'd taken his boy in to get changed and left his wife watching their daughter who was having a swimming lesson. He'd obviously forgotten something because he was standing at the changing room door trying to attract her attention. The extraordinary thing, and it was extra ordinary, was that he was standing there shouting "where's the shampoo" to his wife wearing only a pair of checked boxer shorts. As I walked past him into the changing rooms I shook my head, smiling, and gave a relatively minor air bubble a small pat. Safe in the knowledge that I was merely the second biggest prat at the pool that day.
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