Gerbils?

Today at the pool I was wearing my orange sized shorts.

I was chatting for a while with Lourdes Quiz Man. Or rather he was chatting to me. In a most animated way as is his wont. He was swearing a lot obviously. I could make out the "fucks" clearly enough. The rest I was only able to guess at based on fragments such as "the fella said", "eighteen shtone", "grabbed me by the wrisht" which gave me small clues to the context.

I chipped in now and again to show willing. Not that it helped. It only interrupted his flow and invariably I asked the wrong sort of question. I was sure there was a butcher mentioned.

"Which butchers was this?".
"No this was in the fucking pub" he said, before forging on with his impenetrable narrative.

It went on like this for about 15 minutes and I eventually gave up asking any more stupid questions. He didn't seem to mind. I started thinking about the Celtic game tomorrow. Would Keane be fit, I pondered. Then I realised I was being asked a question. I couldn't make it out but he was pointing to my orange shorts and saying something about gerbils possibly.

"I know" I said, patting it down.