Beans on Toast

I was eating beans on toast this morning when the waiter came over and asked me if everything was ok. I told him that the toast was good and that, so far, all the beans had been ok. I assured him that I'd let him know if any of the beans went wrong.

Mine Beer

Me : What breweries do they have in Froome?
Him: Well they have the Milk Street Brewery and Mine.
Me : Yours?
Him: No Mine
Me : Ah ok. Yours.
Him: No. It's a small town
Me : That figures.
Him: Yes.
Me :
Him:
Us :
Me : You said Mine. It was eh ... I was just...
Him: The Pitchfork's good.

Radiohead : Amnesiac (#1)

I could easily pick The Bends or, of course, OK Computer but if I am really honest I'm on the sick side of both of these superb albums by this stage. One or two listens a year would be plenty and that wouldn't be much use if I was, quite literally, stranded on an island.

(As indeed I am for the purposes of this self indulgent exercise I've decided to bore you with).

After OK Computer came the abstract, genre-bending Kid A which just sounded plain weird. This was quickly followed by Amnesiac which, largely due to relentless exposure to Kid A, sounded only a bit weird. Now it doesn't sound any weirder than strictly necessary. It's an utterly inspiring album and it blasted joyously from Wiltshire into Somerset out the wee Citroën thing I'm driving this week.

(If it must be a ladies car then let it be a Citroën C1.)

Anyway Amnesiac is in. At a push, but not that much of a push, it would serve as my 2nd jazz choice.

Seen To Be Different

But don't, for the love of God, actually be different.

Pommelling

I always feel that if you're going to be not funny you'd be as well, at the very least, making some sense whilst doing it. This, from the otherwise excellent Old Green Tree public house in Bath, being an attempt to warn off potential smokers whilst being lighthearted and jovial at the same time. Some people I'm sure will find this hilarious. Predictably, I am simply bound to point out the following defects:

1. a pommel is the upper front part of a saddle; a saddlebow. I've no idea what pommelling means.
2. subconsciousness is a state not immediately available to your conscious mind in which you fancy your sister, hose down an elephant and run through the office naked. Generally worth avoiding.