GAA and Kipling

Here's an advert for the GAA featuring the poem IF by Rudyard Kipling.

Why the GAA, those staunch Defenders of Hibernian values, would agree to have their "product" promoted using poetry by Kipling, that staunch Defender of Colonial British values, is ... well, when I come to think about it, not that bloody surprising.

Carol Ann Duffy

Carol Ann Duffy, a Scot it seems, was recently appointed Poet Laureate of all England. In return she will receive a butt of sherry [1].

The role of Poet Laureate, it seems, is to rhyme at the royal family's pleasure. However, Duffy, a female lesbian, has said that she will only write poetry for the royals if she feels like it. If she is inspired so to do. And, under no circumstances, will her poetry rhyme. For, as any fule kno, poetry, these days, must never rhyme. Otherwise it will be crap.

In response, a palace spokeswoman said that Duffy, Carol Ann, will write poetry at the Queen's pleasure. As required in celebration of royal dinner parties, trips abroad and so forth. Otherwise they will take her to the edge of a very steep cliff. And drop the subject.

[1] 333, 000 bottles

Jazz and Celtic

My uncle, a Celtic man like me, emailed:

"SPOTIFY IS GREAT"

He types in uppercase

On Spotify, he listens to jazz

Benny Goodman, Louis Armstrong 

And the best of all Sir Duke

But, wait for this!

He saw those greats play live

For the troops in Berlin

Later, Charlie Tully, Willie Fernie

Bobby Murdoch, Jinky Johnston

And Hampton Hawes, in '63.

Poem About The Phone

Today I found the phone

In the place where it belongs

The last place I'd even look

In it's cradle

The battery down to a solitary bar

Of a maximum four

After a day spent wandering

Hell knows where

Who put it there?

In the place where it belongs

Perhaps it was just my imagination

But it looked really guilty