SIR James B Barnes ESQ. III

Sir James B. Barnes ESQ. III, a Knight of the British Realm, no less, has a paving stone in Quincy dedicated to his memory.

A google search for his name reveals nothing. And so his memory lives on, humbly achieving immortality, in that small paving stone, next to William and Mary Kelly, in that historic, blue-collar town in the state of Massachussets.

Cromwell's Bladder

Here's my new water jug which I always take into meetings and folks always say "Fancy!" by which they mean "Twat!". You suck up the water from the little teet at the top.

According to scientists, the water in the jug contains at least one molecule that has passed through the bladder of Oliver Cromwell. This is because, apparently, there is more molecules of water in this jug than there are jugs of water in all the oceans of the world.

As far as I understand, the water has not passed through the bowels of any other significant historical figures. Only that bastard Cromwell.