Sumptuous Suppers

I did something really bad last night and absolutely had to be punished. So instead of getting to take the kids swimming I stayed home and watched Nigel Slater's Sumptuous Suppers.

And frankly I feel that the punishment far exceeds the crime.

Now to start with, when Slater says supper he doesn't mean cheese on toast in your pyjamas and slippers. No he means to be a pompous git and, more specifically, he means dinner. But being an absolute dolt of the first water, Slater wouldn't dream of having his evening meal until at least midnight.

For every supper recipe he'll say something like:
Now at this point I could used normal tomatoes but (not being a complete prole like you lot) I'm going to use Guatemalan sun-blush tomatoes (which, presumably, are available at every good Waitrose).

When it's ready, he wouldn't dream of sitting down at the table and eating it. He insists on eating standing up like you'd expect from an insufferable old lush.

My crime was minor. Surely I didn't deserve this...

"I believe that what grows together, goes together. And my theory doesn't just apply to what I grow in my garden. I think it applies the world over".

Stunningly, our vainglorious hero has conceded that the international science of horticulture extends beyond his own precious back-yard.

Punishment over. Football Focus now.