Guinness Fire

The fire in the Guinness factory was reputedly caused during testing of a new chemical compound (E1fK-99) that they had literally invented yesterday. The compound was expected to make a pint entirely drinkable a full 15 minutes after the second pour. The Guinness beer scientists had also hoped to increase the mandatory period between the first and second pour from 119.53 all the way to 119.57 pub seconds.

A Guinness spokesman told me this morning that this setback would not diminish the corporations continued focus on improving revenue streams going forward.

If you don't believe me read about it here.

Update
Sadly, at 13:08 today, this fact ceased to be true when one ChaoticFluffy removed it from Wikipedia on the outrageous grounds that it was "unlikely and uncited".