Two haymakers

This afternoon I punched my 3 year old on the face.
We were at the swimming pool and I was putting her armbands on. The armbands were slippery (when wet) and I was struggling the first one onto her arm when my hand slipped and I punched her in the cheek. She got quite a fright and if it wasn't for the fact that she was so excited about getting into the pool she might have really cried. As it was she just gave me a shocked look before gracefully accepting my profuse apologies. We put the incident behind us and moved onto the second armband. I was really careful this time but unfortunately - and surely against all odds - I punched her -whack!- on the other cheek. She did cry this time.
The whole thing would have been amusing if it didn't involve punching a small child in the face repeatedly. 

The trick, of course, is to deflate the bands first and then inflate then when they are on the arm. But what a right pain in the arse that is.
On the way home we stopped at Centra for the paper. Centra, for the way we live today. Chortle.