Whilst in a waiting room this morning - waiting - I picked up a copy of National Geographic. Browsing therein, I was struck by an article on Swedish botanist Carl Linnaeus.
Linnaeus, like most people in Sweden, was interested in the sexual parts of flowers. The stamens and the pistils, if you will.
But not only was he interested in the sexual life of flowers he also attempted to compare these with the complicated human relationships of those around him in the small eighteenth century Swedish hamlet in which he lived.
Yes he did!
Thus, he described the Fuchsia as,
Eight men in the same bridal suite with one woman
The Gentian Sage (pictured) as,
Two men in the same marriage
Not clear here if Linnaeus envisioned any female involvement here at all! Complicated relationships indeed. I read on...
Of the Dahlia he commented,
The men have created a union with their sexual organs
The Common Comfrey reminded him of,
One woman, one man, straight but with blood-spitting
The Cockspur Coral Tree was a bit like,
Nine men bundled around one woman. Another woman watches
The Delta Maidenhair Fern positively reeked of,
The joy of the hidden marriage
And the Wax Plant was redolant of,
A gentleman farmer smoking patiently in bed awaiting his flame-haired mistress
Okay, I made that last one up but the rest is all true. You must believe me!
There was more, much more but I was jolted from my sexy plant reverie, and back into the real world of a waiting room, when someone said my name. It was Dr Fischer, my plastic surgeon.
I was up. My wait was over. I was relieved and disappointed in equal measure.
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