Sargeant's Ballroom

John Sargeant has decided to pull out of Strictly Come Ballroom Dancing. Or Ballroom as it's known. 

He said, 

"The trouble is that there is now a real danger that I might win the competition. Even for me that would be a joke too far."

Now the way this works, for those of you less au fait than me with the Ballroom format, is that the expert judges, judge the dancer's performance but then, as a clever twist, their expert opinion is completely ignored. 

Instead, the BBC ask the Great British Public (GBP) to spend their hard earned money to phone in and gainsay the expert judges. It's all jolly good fun and helps the BBC keep Ballroom on air every single night of the week. Without adequate Ballroom our life would be very difficult indeed.

But here's the nub...

The GBP don't like the so called expert judges one little bit and they boo and hiss at them pantomime fashion.

What do these idiots know!!!, they pontificate from their Saturday night armchairs. 

Bunch of bloody poofters wouldn't know a good dancer if they saw one!!!, they perhaps add.

On an internet chat room (therein lies madness) today one actually said,

"I am very angry about this ... I have supported John from the start and have voted for him and now the bullies have won."

That, of course, is part of the trick. The judges on Ballroom are all effete arseholes and are eminently dislikable. The GBP, on the other hand, are normal people and as any fule kno have a much greater appreciation of the more technical aspects of the dance genre. Through attending weddings and the like. 

But now, Catastophe Hathst Strucken! 

This has backfired horribly on the BBC. Everything is ruined, ruined. All their clever thinking has been cast asunder. John Sargeant with his fancy ideas and gadoid mush has presumed to know better than the GBP. 

Treason! Hang that man.