The One Show

It's virtually impossible to avoid crap tv completely.

You can't just live on BBC4 because that way it just gets boring and you may actually die eventually.

And you can't just watch football and good stuff like Flight of the Conchords ("Flight") and The Wire ("The") cos they're simply not on all the time.

So you might read a book or go for a walk or make a curry or drink heavily but eventually ... eventually, you'll have to spend some time watching crap tv.

So when that time comes, as come it surely will, then I suggest you cram all your crap tv watching into one show. The One Show.

On this crap tv show you may find Michael Stipe sitting on the couch discussing butterflies with Giles Brandreth. You might find that interesting and clever wildlife bloke being extremely interesting and clever about some interesting (but not clever) newts. Your host Adrian Chiles will be urbane and withering and the lovely Christine Bleakly will be bidentinely charming and sexy. 

You will find everything and indeed nothing on The One Show. It will just drift by like a painted kite and you'll realise that it is unfortunately not crap tv at all. It's very good. 

So you'll have to look elsewhere for your crap tv. There's no shortage of choice.