Russell Brand

I don't think I've ever knowingly watched Russell Brand on tv or heard him on the radio.

And I've generally got a decent handle on my own activities so you can probably infer that I have, in fact, never watched him on tv or heard him on the radio.

I have read him in the paper though. I read his sports column in the Guardian and find it diverting enough. This week he writes the following about Old Twitchy and his extraordinary improvement over his hapless predecessor at Spurs, Juande Ramos.

I suppose in a way it's not that baffling; one could use a Stradivarius to fiddle out Vivaldi or to smash a prostitute over the head - it's not the violin that decides whether to be a maestro or a misogynist, it's the operator.

It's a good line and also, I think, a brilliant and subtle sideswipe at the awful Clarkson and his pathetic oeuvre.