Health Food Shop

After the Oscar Wilde fiasco, I went to the health food shop to buy some oat cakes. I bought two flavours, cheese and rough.

Whilst I was there I wondered if they had any hot sauces? I'm a massive fan of the hot sauce genre and am always on the lookout for new kinds. 

I said to the woman, "Do you have any hot sauces?"

She looked delighted and slightly dazed by the question. 

"Yes", she said. "I think we do. We have one here". 

She pointed to the Tabasco.

"Anything else?", I asked, trying hard not to rain on her parade.

"Yes", she said. "I think we do have some more" 

She looked around, her head spinning in the neck socket. I knew then that she was quite mad and probably evil.

"Yes", she continued, "these over here", pointing at some Asian sauces. 

"We have oyster sauce, soya sauce ..." she read from the labels. "I think these are quite hot."

"You think?", I asked.

"Yes, I think".

"Only quite hot?", I asked, menacingly now.

"Yes, quite hot".

"Do you have anything that's definitely very hot?", I demanded.

"I think the Tabasco is quite hot", she said, a single bead of sweat trickling down her nose.

I thanked her and went to pay for the oatcakes. As I left she was intently studying the ingredients on bottle of rice wine vinegar looking, for all the world, like this was her very first day on this planet earth.