Issues

Unfortunately I was unable to go to the office Xmas [1] party tonight due to personal issues. It was a total freebie too.

So I went to my favourite Thai restaurant and was forced to drink mojitos and hot and sour soup instead. I took a look at the angry duck and it looked right back at me and told me to have the Larb Gai. So I did. And I had to spend actual money and it was ghastly.

A similar situation will prevail next Friday at another Ch'mas [2] party. Again, my absence can be correctly attributed to "personal issues". Instead I will be forced to stay home and drink bottle after bottle of expensive Black Sheep ale and watch QI. The horror!

What are these issues you speak of?

Well, frankly, they're personal.

[1] yes, it would be too much trouble to write the name of Our Savour in full.

[2] still, yes.