Seattle

Twitter
I’ve had no intanet access in these United States of America. Apparently it’s very rare over here. And you wouldn’t believe how much I’ve wanted, nay needed!, to twitter. But I’ve had no twittering mechanism and so many twitterworthy events have occurred. So I’ve just had to keep them all in. Or twitter to real people. That latter didn’t work out so well.

Cookies
We’re staying at a friend's house. They’re lovely people but they’re even lovelier by dint of not being here. They’re in Hawaii and we’re using their house. It’s a great house. A neighbour just came over with some C’mas cookies for us. He handed them over to my wife and then quickly realized that she wasn’t “The Hamilton’s”. So he took the cookies back again. I believe there was a slight tug-of-war but he won out.

If he didn’t give the cookies directly to “The Hamilton’s” he wouldn’t get any cookie credit you see.

Snow
Today my long held belief that I can control Celtic games by having access to them was shaken to it’s very core. I now suspect that it’s a load of old bullshit. I had absolutely no access to Saturday’s game. I wasn’t there, I didn’t see it on tv or hear it on the radio. As mentioned, I had no intanet access.

I only found out that we’d won when my mate Brian texted me as I was walking in the snow for coffee. It was still dark and I’d already been up for 2 hours. I was very tired but, not for the first time, my unusually shaped friend had made me very happy indeed. So I threw a snowball at my wife.

Weight
Still tired today despite the fact that, by ignoring the kids in the night, I got much more sleep than my poor, fatigued wife. It’s a shame for her but, as I pointed out to her, there’s more of me. About 2 stones more and therefore I need more sleep.

2 stones more of sleep.

Pope
In the coffee shop this morning – Fuel! – I read that Our Pope – Benedict, I believe – has been saying that humanity needs to be saved from gays. He said, “saving humanity from homosexual and transsexual behaviour is just as important as saving the rain forests from destruction”.
Perhaps so, but not quite as important as saving the planet from deluded old fascists, I mused before dipping my biscotti into my double tall skinny.

35/31
In the way of jeans, I’m either a 34 or a 36 waist. And the length tends to be either 30 or 32. But, really, I'm none of the above. 34 waist can be too tight and 36 not tight enough. And 30 length can be too short and 32 not short enough. It's a real pain.

So I'm a 35/31, I think, but, sadly, there's no such size.

Or so I thought...

You can imagine my elation then whilst browsing the GAP sale rack to find that very size which heretofore did not exist. I grabbed them quickly and with shaking hands took them to the fitting room. 35/31, I though no such beast existed but I'd found them 'pon yonder rack I tried them on.

They didn’t fit.

SAM
We went to SAM which is the Seattle Art Museum, or SAM.

We parked in space 137 and my bag check number was 737. I thought this was pretty neat. Precisely 600 of a difference. I mentioned this to the coat check girl. Her stare was as empty as a desert.

After staring at some Singer Sergeants and some Hoppers for a while we went to the café. It was called SAM TASTE. As the guy made our lattes I asked him if he could maybe mention to his boss about an idea I’d just had.
Sure, he replied.
I told him that it was my firm belief that the café name should be changed from SAM TASTE to SAM TEAT.

SAM TEAT, I repeated. Geddit? SAM TEAT!!!

$16.95 he replied, already looking past me to the person behind me.

Praying
I read a book about how to pray. It said stop moaning to God. It said that He hates moaners and that You should stop asking Him for stuff all the time and simply feel His love.
I think that’s right. Can You feel it?